If you associate black and shades of grey with gloomy circumstances and vibrant colours with happy ones, let me tell you …
Like for most of you, there was a phase in my own life too which were jet-black at times and had various shades of grey at other stages. However, I tried to change my approach as much as possible by choosing vibrant colours so much that one of the pillars in my life actually commented – “You are acting as if life is very colourful for you!”
The truth was that life was not at all colourful for me. I was only trying to make it colourful. I was only trying to be happy. I was only trying to tune my mind to be happy.
Now, happiness is like a puzzle actually … I am sure that if you ask 500 people about their definition for happiness, you will get 500 different versions. Let me share my definition too 🙂
I would define happiness as the ability to be happy – climbing one step above all adversities. When you focus on tackling the adversities, you will go to a state of “Hey! No big deal … Now, I can handle anything!” That is a state of happiness!
Now, how do you go to that state and take charge as the Chief Happiness Officer of your own life? Let me share a few tips for the same.
Your Happiness Is Actually In Your Own Hands, Not Others.
“I will be happy only when I get married” – this is a common condition which is put forth by those who are on the verge of finding their life-partners but have not succeeded as yet. The search for your life-partner is fine but the condition for being happy is not. Let me explain … when you put a condition of not putting on a happy face, do you think you will attract another happy face who would like to spend his/her whole life with you? No … Right?
“I will be happy only when others understand me in the right way by clearing their misconceptions about me” There are two possibilities here – either the way you have expressed yourself is not right or the other person has decided not to even try understanding your genuine intentions. Can you do anything about the latter? No … Right? Then follow the former one and leave it at that!
“I am not happy with the situation I am in right now!” Fine … many around you may have contributed to it. However, who is the one who actually needs to come out of it? Not the ones who contributed to your unfavourable situation. It is you who has to come out …
These are just a few examples … I am sure there will be a lot more in your own lives … Don’t postpone your happiness or delegate it to someone or some other situation. It’s only in your control!
The Whirlpool Of “Talking Behind Your Back”
This is one aspect which does steal your happiness. However if you are keen on knowing what people keep saying and doing behind your back, you will get caught in a meaningless whirlpool for sure and you will not be able to come out! Like they say “If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front”. Just follow this simple step – it will save you loads of emotional energy for sure and you will end up being happier!
This article by Satish Rao states 7 powerful ways to insulate yourself from negativity.
Give To Be Happier
Recently, there was an Aeroshow coming up. I love seeing those metallic birds soaring high in the sky and performing unimaginable manoeuvres. A classic display of the skilled pilots!
An idea did come up in my mind – why not sponsor the Aeroshow for some of the kids in an orphanage?” All I wanted to do was create a different experience for them. A couple of friends who helped me arrange this gave a better perspective which even I had not thought about. “You never know! On seeing the aero show, one of them may even dream of becoming a pilot!” What followed was even better. I just asked one of my friends if he could arrange for transport. He thought it was a wonderful idea and in the meantime, two more pitched in on hearing my plan. They inturn brought in two other friends too. What started as a simple idea translated into a beautiful experience.
Now, this was just one simple one-off act of giving. However, the truth is that our lives will become happier and more meaningful when we practice the act of giving on a regular basis.
Don’t bother about those who do not believe in giving/making lives better for others. It’s their own choice and way of living. If people do not choose to learn from life, it will eventually teach them!
Jacqueline Way started an amazing initiative called 365give along with her 3-year old son to practice gratitude on a daily basis. Watch this beautiful video to know more.
To Be Really Happy, Embrace And Enjoy The Process.
Many out there are obsessed with the end-result in their journey – personal or professional and in the midst of all these, they forget to enjoy the time they have in hand.
The point here is the process of getting to your goals needs to be embraced, not the end-result. It will happen automatically. The more happily you work on your goals, the better your end-result will turn out to be.
If you are one of those who would embrace the process rather than the end-result, tell yourself “I will put forth my best efforts and enjoy the process as much as possible!”
The result of this action will be far more positive because you would have approached the situation with a far more positive mindset and anything done with a positive mind will reflect positivity around and positivity inturn attracts success.
Come Up With A Happiness Plan/Strategy And Take Charge!
Your happiness plan needs to be customised. Note down what would really make you happy. Is it transitioning to something better in your career? Is it taking one step ahead in your personal life? Is it in making lives better for others? Or even better … is it a combination of all of them? When you are clear about your happiness plan, you will find it easier to actually get to it!
Buddhist monk, photographer and author Matthieu Ricard speaks about the habits of happiness in this wonderful video.
In The Quest Of Your Own Happiness, Don’t Hurt Others!
This is a common mistake which many knowingly or unknowingly commit! It’s selfishness! It will eventually come back to you!
You can work on your happiness index but you cannot remain happy alone. There will surely be a handful of people who would have contributed to your well-being because of which you will be enjoying the fruits of happiness – your support system ie family, close friends, mentors and so on.
Practice the “live and let live” life-skill. This way, you will be happy and others around you will be happy too.
This is surely not an exhaustive guide. These are just my set of views which many of you could possible relate to. They key point here is for you to become the Chief Happiness Officer of your own life. Never delegate the role/responsibilities to other situations or people. You take charge and remain in power throughout your life!
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Authored By Sushma Krishnan
Co-Founder, High Performance Alchemy