Have you noticed that people are more comfortable talking about the weather, celebrities and sports but when it does come to talking about their own self, they are always a step back. Over the years I have come across very few people who can and will acknowledge their own perils and weakness in front of others.
Are you one amongst them?
Most live under the false notion that the bitter truth I am going to talk about does not exists or is not applicable to them and live their life not living their authentic self. The only way you can step up your game in life is by accepting these truths and moving in the direction of your best version.
In my own experience working thousands of hours as a Professional Life Coach I have come across many who are scared to accept these truths. So, what I am doing now is sharing the Top 9 from my list of bitter truths which people ignore.
The list is not necessarily in any order or even exhaustive. Will be glad to hear from some of you for sure as to what else can you think of adding to this list.
Your Talent & Knowledge Is Useless Without Consistent Efforts
Over the years, I have had the opportunity to interact with some amazingly talented people who were educated from some of the best Ivy league schools. The sad part with most of these people were that they were never consistent in their efforts to live their authentic self.
The reasons were many but the pattern was the same. Consistency and persistence was the big thing missing from their dictionary and they did not have a clue until they happened to speak to me. Remember that some of these people were more experienced and educated than me. This article What it takes to be great is a great reference article for consistent effort.
So, the only reason they opened up and realized their own bitter truth is because of the Rapport I had managed to build with them in the first few minutes of my interaction.
Ruminating In The Past Will Only Get You There
All of us go through incidents in our life which does leave a mark for good or bad in our life. However, the ones who are successful do something different. They always try to learn from the past and work diligently in the present to build an exceptional future.
If you choose to live in the past whether physically or emotionally then remember you are only responsible in building a compelling future. I have personally gone through some difficult past and it would have lead me in a different direction if I was still living with them.
However, I have made peace with these incidents and it just another incident for me right now. If you are finding it difficult to let, go of the past then do yourself a favor.
Reach out to me for a Strategy Call. I will try my best to help you let go of your past which is holding you up and help you build a compelling future.
Aiming For Unrealistic Standards Will Make You Crash & Burn
Working towards perfection is a race which no one has yet won all the time. If you wait for the right time to be perfect and raise your bar every time, then it will only ensure you fasten the process of crash and burn.
Being perfectionist is not the only way to win the game. Being consistent and realistic is what gets you to the top and more importantly helps you stay there for much longer time. So, mute your inner/outer critics and work towards strengthening your own intuition and do not fall into the trap of setting yourself to unrealistic standards.
This is a great reference article by Harvard Education on perfectionism.
Be Accountable To Yourself
One of the most empowering decisions you can take right now which is always in your absolute control is to be Accountable to yourself. Yes, it sounds easy but being accountable is holding yourself responsible and always ensuring your actions speaks louder than your own words.
Once you are Accountable to your actions and to your thoughts you will see the process of magical transformation begins to take place. When you are accountable and answerable to yourself believe me you never ever must worry about anyone measuring you up and it does give you an opportunity to live your Authentic self.You can refer my previous blog to work on your self-confidence to become more Accountable.
Don’t Try To Please Everybody
If you try to please everybody and ensure they are happy at the end of the day, then the only person who will end up losing big time is yourself. I always tell this in my seminar and Coaching Interactions that this is a one-way street and the sooner you change your direction the better it is for you. You can refer this article in Psychology Today to identify the signs of pleasing everybody.
Focus on respecting your values, principles and developing your own vision. This is what will get you far and help you to stay there than others who take shortcuts to get to the top. Trying to please everybody is an energy drainer and by the time you would have spent pleasing all the people you will hardly have any energy left to please yourself.
Focus On Your Reactions Than What’s Happening
Most of the time I do see people fixated on what happened to them and ruminating more on the why’s and what. Always remember that we do not have 100% control on what people say or do to us. So instead of focusing on what you cannot control begin to condition your mind to change your response mechanism.
What I do mean with the response mechanism is how you process the thoughts and the effect it has on you. Always focus on working on your own response system to lead you to have better outcomes. This is the only way you can become emotionally strong and resilient. You can refer this brilliant article The power of Small wins by Harvard Research to work on your response mechanism.
Your Most Important Asset Is Your Time
Do you plan as to how you spend your time? Well if you not then probably you are someone who do not value your time. I always tell this to my own clients who have challenges in Time Management. “If you do not value your own time, then no one else will”
Each one of us do have the power and responsibility to do what is most productive in the time given. No one is given an extra second than 24 Hrs in a day and how we plan, prioritize and execute is what will make you a better person.
You do not have an unlimited source of time and in the given time we can only be productive and the best version of our self in patches. You can regain a lot of things in life, but getting back time lost in doing unproductive things is gone forever.
You Are The Author Of Your Life Story
How you want your life to be is something which only you can decide and put it down. I see far too many people looking for sympathy in others and losing out big time in channelizing their energy in the right direction.
The fact is that nobody cares as to how difficult your life is and it does not matter to them. So, begin to write your own chapters of your life and work towards it to make it happen. You have absolute power to create the life you want to live.
As with any areas of our life begin small and work on small things which can make a big difference in the years to come. Get the momentum going, then it’s far easier to ride the momentum wave. This logic works in your smallest as well as your biggest goals.
Not convinced yet? Then try and challenge me. I will be more than happy to prove you wrong in this aspect of being the Author of your life story.
You Are Your Biggest Investment
If you must win the game big then it is imperative that you begin to invest in yourself. No, it is not selfish to invest in oneself. No matter what people or the organization is doing for you, investing in yourself is never going to be wasted and will always give you back 5X returns.
It is one of the most worthwhile thing to do during these times. If you are a high performing executive or an Entrepreneur who is driving large business it is imperative that you remove the guilt of self-investment. Some of the areas you can think of self-investment would be to
- Sign up for any additional certification related to your field
- Plan for the holiday with your family
- Visit the nearby health club and sign up for a year and stick to it
- Hire a Professional Life Coach to Co-Author Your Life Story
Whatever investment you are planning to do for yourself please do not have any second thoughts about it. You might not see any immediate returns coming out of it, but believe me it will never go wrong and the returns will be worth many times the time and anything invested.
If you are keen on re-designing your life, you can schedule a Strategy Call .
In this call we can
- Identity the area of your challenge
- Get a new perspective on your action steps
- Get a clear road map to achieve your professional & personal goals.
If you are an executive in an organization and are looking at “Employee Transformation” then you will be glad to hear that I do “Strategic Intervention” personally for your core team. By the end of this intervention your team will be able to
1.Work on their Stretched Goals with absolute clarity and focus
2.Double or even triple their productivity, by developing laser-like focus
3.Create a clear road-map in their own Goal Setting Journey.
You can see how our Strategic Interventions can help your core team to perform at their best by clicking on
You can also reach out to my team by sending out a mail to the following email id firstname.lastname@example.org
One of my team members will be happy to reach out to you and discuss about these “Strategic Interventions”.
Thank you for reading my post. I regularly write about Leadership, Peak Performance, and Health & Wellness.