I was a part of a meeting last week where some of the people present lost their self control and exposed the ugly side of their character. I wondered as to why people lose their self – control even when holding responsible positions in the society. I began thinking on how we can work towards building our self control muscle which i think is like any other muscle in the body. If You can focus on the shortcomings and do the required exercises,I do not see any reason as to why one cannot improve. Some of the exercises one can work on to develop their self control are –
Analyze your life: Sometime analyzing your life comprehensively rather than floating around like driftwood makes a world of difference. Look into the most important areas of your life be it your profession, relationships, health, finances etc which are extremely important to your life. See which area is suffering the most and do the required course correction. The reason is, if you are dissatisfied in any area of your life then it is bound to accumulate and explode at an inappropriate time. The best option is to enjoy the journey and take regular breaks which will have a positive impact on your life.
Analyze the area where you are lacking control: If you are losing self control, be it at work or at your house then realize that it will have a huge impact on you and your relationship with the people around you. Read books or articles about the area you are having difficulty with. Becoming informed makes it much easier to make the right decision when you’re tempted to overdo something. For example if you want to lose weight, taking the time to read about nutrition and healthy dieting will naturally motivate you and make eating right a much more enjoyable activity. In terms of gaining self control, knowledge really is power!
Develop manners: Manners are a means to create a socially acceptable method of interacting with others by respecting their needs and our own. It is difficult to be rude to someone with good manners and people are not very forgiving of someone who does that. Hence your self-control can be boosted by relying on using good manners. Even using simple words like Please & Thank you will go a long way in developing good manners.
Practice everything in moderation: Instead of seeking instant gratification, enjoying all things in life in moderation is essential. This means forgoing the entire chocolate cake in preference for a simple slice. It means doing the activities that fit into the time you have rather than multi-tasking.
Refuse to resort to cursing and raging: Self control is about calmly and slowly identifying the cause of your distress and addressing it with realistic reactions. Cursing and raging get you nowhere other than earning you a reputation as a hothead who can’t be trusted or worse as someone who is potentially violent. Find calm and constructive outlets to deal with your concerns.
Think before you speak or act: Do not react in the heat of the moment. This requires consideration and deliberation. Practice this in order to perfect it so as to enable you to respond reasonably quickly to situations in a level-headed manner without resorting to immediate gut reaction behavior. Always think, think, and think.
Take up sports or activities that teach you inner focus: Consider activities as running, weight lifting, yoga, meditation, etc. as forms of self-centering and learning to rely upon your inner strength. These are excellent means for developing self-control and have helped me immensely over the years in a long way.
Meditation: This is something which comes to my mind foremost not because I start my day with this but for the amazing results one can achieve in hardly any time. The return on investment is extremely high with this one habit which just about anybody can do for 10-15 minutes in a day. Meditation is something that has been used by countless number of people across the globe and it is all about discipline. The point of it is to discipline your mind to such a state where it is conditioned in a positive way. During mediation you’re meant to be getting into a state of self awareness while keeping your mind blank. You’re not meant to anchor yourself to specific thoughts. This is very difficult to do if you’re not doing it right and it requires a lot of self discipline as well as concentration. It helps develop a positive energy from within.
Ensure you do rest for 7-8 hours: Don’t forget to sleep well. Good Sleep will give you better mental health. it will give greater energy to exercise control whilst tackling the opportunities and happenings of the next day. Sometime sleeping over a problem does help to a large extent.
Watch what you eat: Recent research has time and again proved that most of the vegetarians are happier .It is due to the high level of antioxidants in greens which to a large extent act as a natural damage control mechanism. I am not advocating a complete vegetarian diet but do include 3-4 servings of fresh fruits and vegetables in a day.
Even though developing self control is something which does takes time, the points discussed are proven strategies which have worked for me as well as many of my clients across the Globe.
I do hope this has made some of you realize how important it is to have control on yourself .If you do want to reach out to me do mail me on my mail id coach@satishrao.in or on my Face book Fan Page.