When I saw a car owner chastising a parking attendant yesterday for a trivial issue which could have been ignored, I realized that by being a little forgiving the young gentleman in his flashy car could have made his evening more pleasant.Have you not seen people around you who do not think twice before venting their frustration on someone who according to them is at a lower level in the society? I come across this more often than not and it all begins with us to ensure that we do not blow our fuse on trivial things and be an unpleasant example to people around us.
The point of discussion here is how we react to situations and do not regret later that we could have behaved better. There is no one thing we can do to address this problem but we can execute a series of things or to be precise actions which will eventually help us. The most important one to begin with would be –
Practice Forgiveness: Having hard feelings is the worst thing you could do for yourself. It will make sure you are filled with negative energy. An individual can have only one type of energy be it either positive or negative and the choice is yours. I always make the choice before I have even begun my day and put in my best effort to stay positive. I would be lying if I said that I succeed all the time but can proudly say that I manage at most times. Holding a grudge against another is a blemish on your soul. When you can let go of this, you can begin to heal the pain. Making a point of forgiving someone is a great service, for there are times that the person may not even know that they have hurt you. You can even forgive those who do not want to be forgiven. Trust me – it will make you incredibly happy and this one exercise of forgiving has made a huge impact in mine as well as many of my clients.
Show respect and Courtesy: This looks like a small thing, but I see this becoming extremely rare nowadays with people rushing about as though there is no one around. When is the last time you saw someone offering a helping hand or saying a Thank you to a stranger? I make it a point to say Thank you to people i meet. Some of them are embarrassed because they are actually not used to hearing this word. What professionally courtesy is expected inside our workplace needs to be followed outside too. At times even a simple smile goes a long way in making one’s day. At the end of the day when you practice doing this even a couple of times a day then the seed of internal happiness is sown. Another important factor is by doing this, you are ensuring two people are happy and in a small way giving back to society in the best possible way.
Listen More than you speak: One of the crucial aspect of showing respect to somebody is to listen completely. By doing this be it with your partner, friend or even your support staff you are engaging in him/her and sub consciously telling them that they are important to you. For some time I had this habit at work of turning towards my monitor when someone was speaking to me. When I realized the mistake, I ensured that I switched off my monitor to make the person know that he/she was important and I was listening one hundred percent. Nature has indeed given us two ears and one mouth. It does imply that we naturally need to listen more and speak less.
Give genuine praise: When you do recognize the contribution of others then it would make the person so much better. How many of us at some point of time have not thought about someone who recognized our contribution and given us genuine praise. I am sure most of the working folks will agree that a praise from your boss which is genuine is worth more than anything else at the emotional level. Recognizing the contributions of others is a mighty act of service. This is an investment in others that doesn’t cost you a thing and the returns can be truly amazing. When you are genuine, people around you can sense things and connect with you in another level altogether.
Live by your promises: Nothing would make a person feel better than when you keep up your promises. I come across many instances where people do not keep up their promise, be it calling back or even meeting in person. There is absolute no sense of empathy to others. The least you could do to make someone feel happy is by living by your word and sticking to it. I know the circumstances change and things evolve but the least you could do if you do not keep up on a promise is to acknowledge it, find middle ground and move ahead. This will help you to keep your conscious clean and not dwell on it later.
At the end of the day what does make you happy at the inner levels are the thoughts and deeds which happen through you. Happiness is a state and to get into this state one need not go in search of the pot at the end of the rainbow. It is within each of us. The only thing we need to do is to work on it to make it more prominent. I am sure being happy would be one of the top 3 goals in the bucket list of many. I hope through this article it will help some of you to find the key to unlock the happiness door and transform yourselves. Would love to hear from some of you either on my facebook page or through my mail id coach@satishrao.in