Are you Guilty of Negative Self Talk?

Getting to being a leader is one thing. However, staying there and thriving especially during these difficult times is a different ball game altogether. How you manage your upswing is directly proportionate to how you manage your downswing.

With remote working being the norm, majority of the leaders are grabbling with managing teams and also their own negative self-talk. I am not sure if it is only me who is hearing more and more of people at the leadership level talking more about negative self-talk or is it something that is happening across the globe.

I have seen over the last one decade of working as a professional executive coach that if you do not take coercive actions to nip negative self-talk in the bud, it can and will become your top disempowering habit, which can pull you down both at the professional and personal levels.

Raj came to me couple of months back with the exact same issue and through this article, I would like to touch upon three specific areas which did help him overcome his own disempowering habit and am sure it would more often than not help each one of you move in the right direction.


All of us do at times get into a bad mood. Believe me its human! However, staying in a bad mood is always a choice which we tend to choose. I have worked with people who choose to be in a bad mood for days together. This is where introspection does play a big role.

What I make my own clients do is to spend some quality time in introspecting. Yes even 5-10 minutes in solitude is worth it’s weight in gold. You will be amazed when you disconnect yourself from everything around you and just focus on your thoughts and feelings.

Now do not get confused with meditation. That does serve a different purpose altogether. Even though some say it is similar, it is not. Just like any other habit, consistency and discipline will go a long way in making you better at introspection.

This insightful video focuses on how our brains are wired for negative thoughts and how to work on them.

Be compassionate:

When was the last time you were compassionate to yourself???? If you are still thinking then, welcome to the “Not Compassionate To Yourself Club” Early in my own professional life, I was guilty of falling into this trap just like you and used to be really hard on myself. I was on the notion that being hard on myself would eventually make me more humane and compassionate to others. Yes, it is true to a certain extent. However it is always counter-productive.

I did learn this the hard way but there is enough research which does prove that when you are self-compassionate you can manage and bounce back from your setbacks faster and work towards mastery and yes take on more risks.

So how do you train yourself to become more self-compassionate? One of the easiest ways I have learnt is to focus on that one person whom you really care about and do a role reversal. When you do a role reversal, what does tend to happen is that you suddenly begin to listen more, be non-judgemental and not come to a conclusion.

You are your biggest cheerleader:

Are you aware that positive self-talk is one of the most effective ways to condition your mind for success???There is more than enough research out there which does prove that some of the most successful people in any field, especially sports do use the power of positive self-talk to improve their peak performance.

I remember working with Amar couple of years back and I did notice in the very beginning that he was using lot of words with a negative connotation. When I realised that he was doing more of this internally by putting himself down both at the conscious and subconscious level it was easy for me to break this pattern. Over the next few weeks, I realised that he had picked up this habit very early in his life while growing up in a joint family.

There is definitely a connection in what we think and tell ourselves. If you are someone who is guilty of being in a habit of negative self-talk then the easiest thing to do is to replace it with a positive one. As with always focus on one or two negative self-talk, then you can build on this habit. You will be amazed at how differently you will begin to see the world once you change the way you talk to yourself.

Watch this beautiful video to know the impact of negative talk

Over the years I have seen that people do pick up disempowering habits as the circumstances around them change for good or bad. As long as it helps you to become a better person then it is fine, however if you do feel it is a disempowering habit then you got to be proactive and do whatever it is required to break through the habit.

Working with a professional coach is one of them. If you are someone who is guilty of Negative self-talk then just click on the link below to schedule a strategy call with me personally.

Go here now Strategy Call

You will be surprised that with just one conversation and a week of personalised coaching you will be able to do so much more in turning things around with an inside out approach.

Also, if you do feel that your team does require some work on this specific area then We have been doing Group Intervention successfully to various organisations completely virtually.

Strategic Intervention

Just click on the link to see how we can work with your team to help them work on their emotional strength