When Self-doubt creeps in then it is just about time before it begins to erode your self-confidence. One of the most common challenges I do come across with Executives and Entrepreneurs is self-doubt and low confidence in themselves.
Now for a minute, ask yourself this question. Are you guilty of harboring these thoughts within you? Are you comfortable about yourself under your skin? If the answer to any one of them is no, then it time to dive in straight away without any minute to pause.
There is more than enough research out there which does prove that there is a definite link between how confident an individual is and his/her success quotient. I have worked with dozens of Senior Leaders and large business Entrepreneurs who suddenly felt that they were no more attractive, intelligent and not good enough to lead teams and organizations.
The one common reason for all these which was somewhere along their path was that they did plant a seed of self-doubt in their minds and this began to grow more and become stronger by feeding on their own fears and belief systems.
One of the most important step I always tell my own clients and during my Leadership Interventions is that you have to be absolutely honest with yourself. Sometimes, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and answer this question about not being confident and in self-doubt.
If you accept this challenge then, dive right in. If you still try to push this area of concern under the carpet then I would strongly advise you to stop reading this and do what is more important to you.
Work On Your Body Language
Are you aware that if you are low in confidence from the inside, you are bound to show that through your posture? A sharp eye can pick you out in a crowd or in a meeting and make this play against you. If you are someone who slouches while standing or sitting then it is time to work on your posture.
There is a deep connection between our physiology and our thought process. You can only turn this around by walking straight, tall and look at people in the eye and smile. Yes, when you smile you are guaranteed to look and appear more confident.
Working on these areas will take a conscious effort, but once this is set in as a pattern then nothing can stop you from being noticed in your company or outside. I have personally done this one change with tens and hundreds of people from all walks of life and the result is nothing but magical.
Be More Attractive
When was the last time you wore your best dress and felt miserable and low in confidence? Well I am not surprised if the answer is never. The reason is that when you take time to groom yourself up and make an effort to wear the best attire you are more than certain to feel and act better.
You are subconsciously communicating to yourself that you are valuing yourself more by taking care of yourself. This is probably one of the reasons why you always find people in the film fraternity and of high status always dressed up.
They cannot afford to look low in confidence even for a minute in public especially when the stakes are so high. Now you are the lead Actor/Actress of your own life movie. Why should you dress up any less?
I remember working with a Woman CEO of a large Multinational who was very comfortable in her traditional attire. Since she was going through a painful divorce, she began to focus less on her external attire, grooming and began to go to work and also attend board meetings by just looking and dressing up very ordinarily.
She did tell me “Satish I am attending these important meetings the way I am not supposed to go. Something inside me is stopping me from taking the extra effort to groom and dress well. I plan how I need to go but end up just going plain and ordinary looking.
Even though she knew that the business meeting did require a business attire, she passed it on. However before more damage was done to her overall trajection, she did reach out to me and we quickly began to work on her external and internal challenges and within a few weeks she began to get back to her earlier version of dressing smart and took it upon herself to go to work every day well-groomed and in her own words Stunning.
How you dress up does play a big role in your own confidence level. So if you are someone who needs some work in this area then I would highly recommend you to go for some shopping during the weekend. Pick up a few things which you feel good about and yes, always remember not to go overboard.
Don’t Become A Hermit Crab
Most of the people who go through the phase of self-doubt and low confidence begin to get into a shell. Somehow they tend to get withdrawn and disconnect from people who do matter to them. At times they are physically present with their teams, friends or even family but mentally they are disconnected.
So the idea is to put the finger on the pulse and get back on track if you are drifting into a shell. Talking to people outside your circle always does a world of good and helps you get a different perception of the things you are fighting alone.
This is one of the reasons I am personally open to speaking with people who are going through this phase and just give them an ear. If you are someone who is ready to get back on track, then just click on the link to schedule a Strategy call with me personally and I will guarantee you that if you are ready to step up I will help you break this pattern in less than a weeks’ time. Are you ready to take this challenge? Then just click on the link to schedule a strategy call with me
This will entitle you the following
1. Exclusive one on one coaching call with me personally.
2. One week of personalized coaching on your area of challenge
3. Unlimited Non voice support through the week
4. Customized content in your inbox to motivate and guide you through the one week of coaching.
Click on the link to schedule a call now
Don’t Feed Your Negative Self Talk
I am not good enough
I am fat and not attractive
I am not a good people manager
I am not a good mother/father
I am not … I am not … I am not …
The list can go on. However what is most important is that the more you tell yourself that you are not good at anything in particular, you are reinforcing your belief system and making it stronger. So if you catch yourself telling yourself any of the above negative self-talk, then immediately replace it with a positive self-talk. The more you do this on a consistent basis the more you will begin to work on building your confidence muscle and eventually move in the right direction of believing in yourself.
This video by Owen Fitzpatrick shares some brilliant insights about the war of voices in our head.
Yes, this does mean that you need to head to a Gym. You can strengthen your bones and muscles only by strength training and none of the other activities will even come close to the effectiveness of this. How do I know this, you may ask? The reason is very simple. There are more than enough research to prove that this is a fact and I can personally vouch for strength training, because I have been working out consistently for the last couple of decades.
By strength training and building your muscles and bone strength, you are doing yourself a favor especially if you are someone like me from the Indian subcontinent. We are plagued with brittle bones and less muscle in our overall body mass index.
This is directly responsible for the quality of our life when we age. You do not want to lie in the bed or move around in a wheelchair right when you are in the fag end of your life, especially after a checkered career. No one wants to, trust me.
Even working out in the gym for 20-30 minutes 4-5 days a week can make a significant improvement in your overall strength index which is directly proportionate to your own confidence level.
Strength training also help you lose your weight drastically because your metabolism will get sky high and the best part is that it will drastically help you improve your posture by strengthening your core and help you stabilize your spine and eventually your posture.
When you do become stronger irrespective of you being a man or a woman I will guarantee you that you will walk out into the real world with more confidence and less of self-doubt. Want to take this challenge with me.Then do step up and sign up for a 2 week strength training activity in a gym with someone to supervise you and then reach out to me for a No obligation call with me.
I will personally coach you to work on your other core areas also which does affect your confidence and self-doubt area. I am ready to step up for you if you can take this one step from your side. Come on you have nothing to lose, everything to gain by taking this challenge.
Working with a professional coach can double or treble your success rate. You can experience this first hand by working with personally with someone who has been doing this as a full time profession from the last one decade.
Work On Your Public Speaking Skill
The fear of public speaking is always the number one fear amongst both men and women. I do come across this so many times in my engagement with very Senior leaders and Entrepreneurs.
Now, this can begin to work against you and eventually spill over to your other areas of your own life. So the best thing to do is to work on this important skill and build on it. Spending even just 10-15 minutes every day by working on this one area will go a long way in helping you work on your own confidence and self-doubt.
As with everything, begin small and then you can look at a TedX talk in the near future. For that to happen you need to face this fear head-on and make it insignificant in your own life. Look for opportunities within your organization or team for small talks. Look for speaking opportunities amongst your friends and family. If you are still petrified of doing this, then video record yourself talking about any particular topic, see and review it.
After doing any of these activities for 15-20 times, you will become better at it. There is no rocket science behind public speaking. Anybody with focus and practice can be good at doing it. Whoever you are seeing right now great at public speaking, remember they also started exactly from where you are planning to begin the journey. So, do not shy away from taking this one action. Step up and walk through this fear.
This article by Glenn Croston Ph.D focusses on why public speaking is feared more than death itself.
If you are looking at someone working with your core team on this aspect, then I am happy to say that I can personally come to your office or do a short(60-75 minutes) intervention through Webex and show your team how to break these self-doubt patterns and make each one of them an effective star performer.
Just click on the link below to schedule an Intense Strategy session with your team with me personally.