When you do the same things again and again, do not expect to get different results. This is exactly what I spoke about with a friend a couple of days ago. He was stuck in a situation and did not know how to come out of it. I have over the years known exactly what to do but when the situation arose, I ended up with the same old reaction. When I began to work with people, I understood better why one would react like this in spite of the obvious outcome facing them. This made me think about this a little more deeply. If for some reason you seem to be stuck in the unchanged syndrome and it’s become harder to act on your knowledge then this is how according to me you can overcome the internal resistance for lasting positive change.
1. Recognize the payoffs: We do things how we’ve always done them because there’s some type of pay off—something we think we can gain—or something painful we think we can avoid. There cannot be anything in between. In some cases this may be obvious but sometimes we need to really dig beneath the surface to understand why we’re keeping ourselves stuck. I always remember the old gramophone disk which used to get stuck if there was a scratch and play things again & again. Once you understand the payoff you’re seeking and what you’re afraid of or trying to avoid, you’re better able to work with your own inner workings.
2. Acknowledge what you lose by doing what you always do: Once you know as to what the payoff is then it is easy to move into the second step which is seeing and even feeling what you might lose in the long run. It might be your health, respect or even a monetary benefit if you continue to do the same thing. Once you do connect to the end result, fast forward many years and see yourself going through the same situation without changing anything then it is easy to come back and connect the dots. This might not come instinctively, but this is an opportunity to practice.”
3. Create an opportunity to practice which will keep the pressure off: Changing behavior is about consistency. The more often we do something, the more instinctive it will become and the better we’ll get at it. Think about working at it as often as possible; remember every expert today was a beginner at one point of time. What things I do naturally today, without even thinking was due to constantly working at it with a bull dog attitude over a period of time. Think about applying what you know as a ritual and strive to do it more often than not. If you mess up, which you will eventually, take it as a learning experience and try again.
4. Change the inner voice: Eventually what we are, comes down to what has been said to us from the inside. The Sub-conscious and the way it represent things will make us do things at the outside. The first step is recognizing our limiting thoughts, beliefs, and voices. The next part is replacing them with empowering ones. You’re entertaining a new thought so that you can form a new belief structure. If you tell yourself something different and look for evidence to back it up, you will start to change that filter which will go a long way in tackling the internal resistance that keeps you from applying what you’ve learned. In this way you take what you know intellectually, and transform it into something you fully believe. Sounds simple right, well the proof of the eating is in the pudding.
5. Know your triggers and begin to work on them: You can overcome a difficult terrain if you know its coming and work accordingly. When I was riding on some of the most inhospitable roads in the world, we use to ride on this one principal which has taught me some valuable lessons for life. If you’re struggling to get over a farce, identify the things that keep you stuck—looking at old pictures, talking to mutual friends or whatever. Then plan is to avoid triggers that are avoidable and deal with unavoidable ones in a healthy positive way. Eventually I strongly believe that What ever the case may be, knowing your triggers helps you work with them.
6.Track your progress: Just as we don’t like losing time, money and things we value, we don’t want to lose momentum. If you can create some type of tracking system – a journal or an online document, you’ll create a psychological need to keep that streak going. The idea is to make you more accountable. Tracking your progress is an effective system which has worked wonders for me and my clients who have overcome their biggest challenges through this.
Change entails intention and consistent effort. Consistency doesn’t mean perfection. It means trying over and over again and learning from every setback to create meaningful internal change.
When we create tiny shifts in our minds, we start seeing major shifts in our choice and eventually in our lives. Over the years the tiniest of the shifts in my own life have become a life changer for me which I am using effectively with my own clients. I do not see any reason why this cannot work for each one of you in whatever you are working on to overcome. I would Love to hear from you as to how this article has impacted you and bought about the shift in your internal thinking. Would Love to hear from you on my Face book Fan Page or coach@satishrao.in