Over the years when people with genuine issues or those who were just stuck in life used to reach out to me and then disappear, it used to frustrate me no end. It does not any more. Not that I do not have people contacting me now and doing the same, it is just that over the years I have realized that changing another person is a difficult and a frustrating task if they are not completely ready for a change.
What I have learnt myself over the years is that no matter what ever is your perception, what really matters is theirs and theirs alone. Most of our habits and behaviors have been developed over the years and what I do notice in people is that some of the dis-empowering habits are inculcated as a defense mechanism. However when one looks at the bigger picture, the payoff in the long run does not even cross the minds of many people because they would have never seen it through this view. What can one do, to ensure that they do take some meaningful actions towards their biggest challenges even though they know somewhere at the deeper level (sub conscious) that they are in quicksand and slowly sinking.
Get a perspective: Self awareness is the key, to long term change. I for one strongly believe that you can’t change something which you cannot see. Hence a new perspective on yourself to look at your own life and see what’s not working for you works amazingly well. If you do have a good circle of friends or an acquaintance who you feel might not take advantage of your predicament, then do approach them and get a perspective on the area where you require drastic changes.
Uncover the history: When you dig in deep, usually we will find the clue in the recent past. Finding the root of your emotional habits will equip you to make different choices. Conscious choice is incredibly empowering and that is where Life Coaching as a catalyst plays a critical role in making people take decisions to change initially at a conscious level and then at a much deeper Sub-conscious level.
Be clear as to what you intend to change: Once you Zero down on the area you intend to change, ensure you write down the 3 most important areas where you intend to work on changing. There is magic in clarity and I believe that with clarity in the thought process, doing the necessary course correction is just a step away.I work on this one strategy on more than regular basis and has helped me immensely.
Hang in there for 3 weeks: working on changing an emotional habit for 3 weeks and sticking with it, will eventually lead you towards a permanent change. I have gone through this journey many a time and have done whatever it requires to stay on course. Track your progress, journal it or even inform your close circle of friends about the change you intend to do and stick by it, whatever happens. At the end of about 3 weeks it will be completely rewritten at the sub-conscious level and you will begin to do it automatically.Once you overcome the first 3 weeks of timeline,then it is a different journey altogether.I can guarantee you that you will be surprised with yourself during this time.
Focus on the bigger payoff: For any change to happen there has to be a bigger motive. Work on this and first create this in your mind. Looking deeper is the key over here. Honestly list all the reasons why you may be unconsciously resisting change. Then list the benefits of changing. Seeing both sides of the picture is the only way to “get it”. This approach has bought in some amazing insights with my own clients and I consider this to be a very powerful approach in change management. What I have noticed over the years is that by working on this approach it has helped not only me but also many of my own clients to help them get unstuck in their own life.
Ultimately what is important is that as an individual, you need to step up first for the process of change to happen. It is very much like a journey of a Thousand miles that begins with one single step. I sincerely hope each one of you begin your own journey in changing the things which are holding you back. If you do feel that you or someone close to you is struggling to work on changing their own emotional baggage then point them towards me and i would be grateful. I would love to hear from you as to What is one thing you would love to change or have changed on my Facebook Page or at firstname.lastname@example.org.