Have you noticed someone who always blames others for their shortcomings? Well do not be surprised, there are quite a few around us who do not take responsibility for their actions and find solace in blaming others.
Over the last couple of years, as a Professional Life Coach, I get people reaching out to me from across the globe with respect to the challenges they are facing. Surprisingly a common denominator I could see, was that they always blamed their environment, society, partner or at times themselves for their unhappiness, shortcomings and problems — leading to anger, resentment and jealousy. Sounds familiar, then read on to decipher the code to move out of it at the earliest since it is a dis-empowering habit you are cultivating.
Most people look outwards when they face problems. It’s not that, we are the reason for all our problems but a lot of our difficulties can be traced back to what we believe. Our beliefs, in turn, influence our actions when faced with challenges. What I have realized is that it will inadvertently make one, not to take any responsibility for one’s setback. I come across many people who actually believe that external factors are responsible and unfortunately do not want to accept that they are the pivot in dealing with their own problems. To a certain extent I believe that it is largely a defense mechanism in humans. I also see that people around us also influence us in a large way in planting these thoughts in our sub-conscious mind. Some of the things I would advocate one can do to begin with are –
Shift your focus: When you tend to shift your focus from external things, then the small shifts begin to happen from the inside. Work on turning your focus from something you do not want, to something you want. What this usually does is that it helps shift your energy from complaining to taking positive actions
Replace Negative thoughts with positive: I am a strong believer & practitioner of replacing any negative thought or energy within ourselves with a positive thought. When I began writing my Blog more than a year ago,I initially thought that my writing was pathetic and no one would read it. why waste time? However, I told myself that irrespective of whether anyone read the blog, I need to keep on writing and there will be no looking back. At the least I will have a sense of discipline which is the most important takeaway. If I had succumbed to my own negative thought then I would not be writing close to my hundredth blog now in just about a year.
Find a mentor: Look out for a mentor at work or in your personal life. A mentor can be just about anybody who you feel would have walked the path and is non judgmental What this does to you is it gives you opportunity in working with somebody to work on your own goals. I mentor myself and this gives me immense joy. See what suits you. if my Facebook Page or writing gives you positive insights then make the best use of it. At the end of it all it is the change from inside which matters the most.
Learn to let go: Remove something from your life that doesn’t serve you to make room for something better and new. You never know what you might let in when you let something go from your life. I have let go of so many things. These have also included materialistic things and the space which is created can be filled up with positive empowering things be it materialistic or even thoughts.
When I blame others for my misfortunes, it shows lack of education. When I blame myself for my misfortunes, its shows that my education has begun. When I blame neither others nor myself, it shows that my education is complete. When you move from different compartments of thinking, your life around you will also change for the better and one thing I can guarantee you is that the journey will be far more exhilarating than reaching the final destination. Most of the time we are so focused on the final destination that we do not see things around us changing slowly but surely. I hope these words have indeed made you take up ownership of your own actions and created inroads into making you more assertive. I would love to hear from you as to how much of an impact ‘the blame game’ is having in your own life. would the action points discussed above make it more manageable in your own life/ Do share your feedback on my Facebook Fan Page or on firstname.lastname@example.org