My recent post on Letting go of the past on my Facebook Page got some amazing response & got me thinking why not write a Blog on the same. Working with people in Redesigning their lives, has made me aware that this is always the most painful area to improve on. For a long time, i used to live in the past and miss out on living in the present. Life can bring about many unpleasant & unbearable experiences, leaving most of us with intrusive memories. Well the feeling of being incapacitated by not letting go of the past cannot be learnt but only experienced.The only doable and practical action one can take is activating the “Power of letting go” which can turn around the scenario completely and free you from the shackles of misery.
However letting go of the past memories is not a walk in the park, but a step by step approach which one can take to ensure that it does not come back to torment us in the present and the future. Some of my own memories were disempowering me and not allowing me to move forward. When I realise that some of my own clients are going through the same experience, then I waste no time in working on the past which unfortunately would have planted itself deep at the subconscious level. some of the ways each one of you can do to work on the past painful memories are
Come to terms with the memories: What I have seen and experienced over the years is that most of the people try to suppress the memories. This can be in many different ways and varies from individual to individual. Suppression is never the solution. The more you suppress an emotion, it begins to work like a coiled spring waiting for an opportunity to hit back at you with more force. The best thing to do under the circumstances is to come to terms with your memories. Talking to somebody(especially a coach or a professional) is considered the most effective strategy in overcoming emotional baggage. By doing this, you are not only coming to terms with it but also ensuring that it is getting out of your system which is the first critical step. An experienced person can make out how Associated you are with the past and can work with you to disassociate yourself. Sometimes writing about your painful memories also helps, in case you do not want to talk about this to anybody(which I will never recommend by the way)
Begin to work on letting it go: Most of the memories are communicated as images. Our sub conscious, communicates through pictures and with most of the people, these past memories or incidents will be like pictures or images. Generally these images are very close to us and extremely vivid. Letting go is nothing but making these images go away from you by making them hazy and less impactful. I did work on a client a couple of months ago who visualized his painful memories like gas balloons and just left it to fly away. He did see it moving away from him into the galaxy and these memories have never bothered him again. Therefore working on letting go is the next step you can take. Remember all these are within your absolute control and no one can stop you from doing these steps.
Forgive yourself and them: In my own experience, I have noticed that most of the painful memories hover around relations. Therefore it is imperative that however painful the memory is, to first forgive yourself and also the person or the persons involved. By forgiving you are actually allowing it to let go out of your sub conscious and most importantly making a place for positive thoughts and actions to take its place. Remember both positive and negative cannot be in our mind at the same time.
Meditate and visualize: The only way you can work on reconditioning your mind is by working on cultivating a habit of meditating, which will open the doors of the sub conscious mind. Once you are working at the subconscious level, then it is easier to visualize and pace yourself to overcoming these thoughts.. There is magic in Visualization and I can’t stop writing more on its amazing benefits. Visualize and see things clearly in the mind’s eye the things you always wanted to do.
I have just scraped the surface of emotional area in each one of us.Remember that emotions is just like any other muscle and each one of us can strengthen it to make it the most powerful arsenal within us. I have tried this to keep it as simple as possible, but I have walked the talk myself and with some amazing people who have made huge strides in their personal lives by working on their past emotional baggage by using some or all of the above mentioned steps.I would love to hear from you on my Facebook Page or at my mail Id coach@satishrao.in as to how you have managed your own journey by overcoming past Emotional baggage if any.