What is one thing which according to you stands out in a confident person? Well, the one thing I do hear again and again, when I do ask this question is their belief in themselves. A confident person is someone who believes in his/her ability unquestionably.
Come to think of this, why would anyone believe in your ability if you as a person is not believing in your own ability?
Most of the executives who are insecure, fearful tend to often stay in their comfort zone and in the process, allow some great opportunities to pass them by. However, when it comes to confident people, the opposite is true.
They grab the opportunity and even if they do manage to get a toehold, they make the best of the circumstances to win over it. The one thing which fuels them from the inside is the success blocks they keep building.
The only person stopping you from what you can accomplish soon is yourself. Once you begin to accept this fact, then it is that much easier to break the walls of self-doubt and begin to accomplish the goals you never thought possible.
The beauty of working on your own confidence is that with proper guidance, persistence and a clear road-map anyone can 2x their Confidence Quotient. Once you get closer than you are right now, you will begin to feel it from the inside.
Lack of confidence can hit anyone of us at any point of time. The following pointers should help each one of you during those times to not hold yourself back.
Get Over Your Fears
Often it is the fear in us which does stop most of us in our tracks. Remember that the most confident people who you and I do see each day is someone who felt like this exactly many years ago and have come so far by acknowledging the fear factor and making a conscious decision to overcome the same.
Once you take this first step; which according to me is the most crucial one, then you are more than good to move in the right direction. As with anything, it is the first step which does take a herculean effort to get things moving. Once this begins to happen, you will be surprised that the sheer momentum will help you take the necessary steps.
This article Manipulating Memory to overcome fear by Harvard Medical school is a great reference.
Work On Small Wins
Getting to smaller goals will make you believe in yourself. Often the number 1 mistake most people do when it comes to working on their confidence level is to work on something big at the get go.
Some of the biggest changes I have seen closely with the Clients I have worked with over the years is – by working on smaller wins, they do tend to build the confidence muscle faster. This article How small wins unleash creativity by Carmen Nobel of Harvard Business School is a great reference for upcoming executives.
One of the things I always do tell people when working with them is to start small and see it grow. You can take any area of your life which you want to work on and chunk it to smaller pieces and then work on small wins, which will make you feel good from the inside.
Practice Does Make Perfect
“I fear not the man who has practiced 10000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10000 times.” – Bruce Lee
These words by the legendary Bruce Lee is so profound and science does back this with enough research on the same. When we begin to practice a single task then the neural pathways in our brain begins to get formed after a certain period.
Once this happens then most of the task begins to happen more at the sub-conscious level. We do not give much attention to it at the conscious level anymore. Can you think through some of the tasks which you do at this level? I am sure each one of you can list out at least a dozen.
When it comes to building your confidence level, there is no different path to be taken. Just work on investing more time in the task you want to become perfect and work hard at it. Over a period, you will get to perfection. You can refer this brilliant article “Practice really does make perfect” by University of Cambridge.
What is that one area in which you are lacking confidence? List it out and begin to make a conscious effort to practice on it. Say if you always wanted to be a public speaker or wanted to join a networking event then, begin small by first taking the baby steps in a small gathering and then you can shift out to a larger audience.
Visualize Your Confident Self
“Everything does happen twice. First in the mind and then in the real world”.
This is one of the most common words you will hear from me when I am on the podium. In fact, this is true when it comes to working on your confidence level.
Remember that your mind cannot make out what is visualized and what is happening. It just processes the data the way it is supposed to be.
Visualization is a powerful technique where you see a very clear image of yourself doing the things which you always wanted to do.
Once you begin to visualize yourself confident, assertive and a go-getter, you are helping your own mind in building the neural pathways for your confident self. This is the foundation you build your confident self on. You can refer my previous blog to get some insights on how one can work on the emotions to achieve any goal one wants.
This is one of the key reasons why some of the best athletes in the world swear by the power of visualization and practice seeing their best version of themselves before a big event. When they can do it, what is stopping you from practicing this simple but very powerful technique?
Channelize Stress For Growth
One of the things which does begin to happen when you are working on building your confidence level is the accumulation of unregulated stress. This can often makes you hesitate to take on new challenges. How you perceive failures in life makes you cement your thought process.
I have personally worked with many Senior Executives over the years who have used failure as a stepping stone in building their confidence muscle. All that is required is a big leap of faith which happens more in the inside than in the external world.
Every action of yours does have energy and you will be happy to know that you have absolute control over it and take your game to the next level. What this does to you over a long period is something which will help you in the next step where I am going to explain.
Work With A Mentor
When you are planning to take the leap of faith, it is imperative that you work with a Mentor. A mentor can be someone inside your workplace or even outside. When you work with someone who is non-judgmental, they can give you some great perspectives & insights which on your own, will be a long uphill climb.
I am a big believer of the logic “two heads are better than one” and it has worked for me amazingly well over the years.
When you work with a good mentor you are bound to improve your own knowledge and in turn your confidence level. An Executive Coach can also work with you as your mentor. Some of the most successful C Level executives across the globe does always work with a Professional Coach who can work with him/her as a mentor.
If you are really keen on knowing how an Executive Coach can work with you as a Mentor, then I will be happy to speak to you on a
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